she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
