I think scott just propositioned me for sex
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
