SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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