as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
