You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I wish you could order shots online.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
