everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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