WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
