I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
