i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
