you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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