i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
