Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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