He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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