needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
