Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Randomize
