his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
