No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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