is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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