Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
