I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
