Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Randomize
