Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
