i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
