I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
