your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
