i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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