Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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