I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I just want to make out with him forever
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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