How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
