So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
