Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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