And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
