you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
