shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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