Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
