He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
