i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
