my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
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