I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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