I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
