I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
