I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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