you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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