her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
