It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
