Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
it's like iHOP with fire
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
