I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
3pm strippers are depressing
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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