I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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