he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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