In the future we'll all be gay
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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