She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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